Ninja Burger PBP Episode 15 - 9/4/06
[OOC]
Dice roll summary:
Whutaguy/Skipito (Deliverator): 21 = 3
Arvo/Toru (Driver): 54 = 9
Zipdrive/Kitaro (Chef): 37 = 6
Lorthyne/Bozuko (Spotter): 01 = 7
Wroe/Rin (Navigator): 48 = 8
[/OOC]
Rocketing down California at about twice the posted speed limit, the team struggles to get their comm link functional. Toru does a good job of keeping the van straight amidst all the fuss, and despite his poor navigational talents he manages to get the team going more or less in the right direction. The clever driving helps him avoid a few pesky stop lights, and the van is at the corner of California and Van Ness before you know it. As to the matter of the fuel tank rupturing, Toru is pretty sure that the fuel tank on this particular van (and all Ninja Burger vans) is heavily reinforced, due to the likelihood of coming under attack from enemies (gunfire, shuriken, etc.).
Bozuko, Rin and Kitaro manage to cobble something together in a few seconds (3 + 6 + 2 + 2 +2 = 15) out of some van components; we'll say the net effect of this is to add two points to the van's Satellite uplink without seriously damaging any other components:
[OOC]
Expert [+4] Ninja Burger Delivery Van
Good [+2} Satellite uplink currently reduced to Average [+0]
Good [+2] Armor
Good [+2] Camouflage
[/OOC]
Of course, this needs to be placed on the roof to function, and Skipito is the man for that job. He scurries through the roof hatch and plants it in place, but all that stunt driving by Toru knocks him off balance (3 + 2 Extreme Sportster = 5), and Skipito finds himself sliding all the way out of the hatch as the van skids around a corner. He's now on top of the van, hanging on to the device cobbled together by his teammates.
However, this does not disable the device, which allows Dispatch to suddenly cut in clearly over your headsets.
Dispatch: "...repeat, Market and Van Ness, three car accident, blocking all lanes. Avoid at all costs. Also, what the heck are you guys doing? Trying to get seen? Skipito, get back in that van!"
This is, of course, precisely the moment when the squirrel darts out in front of the van.
[OOC]
Rin, you know that Gough would be an excellent alternative to Van Ness, heading south, if you can time the lights just right.
[/OOC]
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Bozuko, spotting [Spotter +2] the small rodent in its frenzied doom dash, frantically flips a switch or two and adjusts a few dials on the Extend-O-ScopeTM) Van periscope. With the delicate instrument rapidly increasing in length, Bozuko swings the periscope in Skipito's direction.
"Grab on tight, buddy. But be careful, I don't want to lose any more instruments today."
Fearing the worst, Bozo buckles up and holds on for dear life.
"You wanna be a missionary?
Got that missionary zeal?
Let a stranger change your life
How does that make you feel?"
-From Paul Simon's "Hurricane Eye"
"Let me get this straight. I should let go of Frankenstein's Traffic Radar (patent pending), which I know will keep me on the van, and grab the 'delicate instrument' of Extend-O-Scope (TM), in the hopes of not taking out any more equipment. Figuing in that Toru will stomp the brake in a few seconds anyway, my plan is to use that momentum shift to launch myself to the front of the van, you know, closer to the delivery. Besides, I am a leaf on the wind."
Extreme Sports [+2]
Whut
"Err...... Just trying to provide more options for you, sir."
Bozuko looks like he feels incredibly stupid.
"Besides, you never know what could happen. Wash was a leaf on the wind too, and look where that got him."
Not exactly completely recovered, Bozuko goes silent and returns to his instruments.
"You wanna be a missionary?
Got that missionary zeal?
Let a stranger change your life
How does that make you feel?"
-From Paul Simon's "Hurricane Eye"
Kitaro sits, and blinks slowly. Then eloquently says "whaa...?"
"Wash also didn't know what it means. It's a Zen thing. YOU ought to understand."
[ooc] actually it's a Tao thing [/ooc]
"Well, excuse me for not growing up combing gardens and arranging rocks. SOME PEOPLE have to WORK for a living...."
"You wanna be a missionary?
Got that missionary zeal?
Let a stranger change your life
How does that make you feel?"
-From Paul Simon's "Hurricane Eye"
"First, by definition, arranging rocks is work. Force times distance.
Two, I didn't have time for that crap either, I was too busy playing polo and chastising servants for bringing me milk that was 3 whole degrees above freezing.
Thirdly, I was just checking to ensure whether I should continue hanging onto one jury-rigged piece of equipment, or try to downgade another.
And E: There are plenty of decaffienated brands that taste just as good as the real thing."
"That definition depends on how ya go about arrangin' the rocks. If ya pick 'em up, than the Work = Force X Distance formula does not apply. Y'can look it up. It only counts as work if you push the rocks across the ground, and that ruins all the pretty sand patterns. So, would a Zen master sacrifice their feng shui to make what they're doing work?"
Bozo nods smugly to no one in particular.
"Why don't you use both?"
[OOC]
No hard feelings. Just havin' fun.
"You wanna be a missionary?
Got that missionary zeal?
Let a stranger change your life
How does that make you feel?"
-From Paul Simon's "Hurricane Eye"
"Look again, that in energy and net energy at that. There is force times distance in lifting the rock, and force times distance in moving oneself, with or without rocks, from A to B, and while the bearer exerts no, or possible negative, force, work happens as the rock goes to ground. Conventionally, work is always positive, energy can be negative. By the way, you have too much negative energy."
[ooc] noting bad on this end, its the best interparty conflict I've experienced in a while, and actually presents the illusion that time is passing.[/ooc]
"Guys, no need to argue. Let's keep up the teamwork. As they say, a single arrow is easily broken, but not ten in a bundle. Now, how do I turn this stereo OH KUSO!"
As his heart leaps into his throat, Toru aims to drive the van directly over the kamikaze squirrel, such that it passes between the wheels unharmed [Stunt Driver +2], knowing that animals tend to freeze in this situation.
Wincing, Toru listens carefully for the sounds of a squirrel bouncing off the bottom of the van, and keeps an eye on the rear view mirror to learn the squirrel's fate. If there is any doubt in his mind that the squirrel aurvived the incident unscathed, the brakes are going on hard, and the van will be swerved into a parking bay if available, or stopped in the right hand lane if not.
[OOC] Is it night? [/OOC]
"Actually, only (relative) potential energy can be considered negative by classical thought, while quantom mechanics stipulate the existance of negative energy areas in highly localized (i.e. very small) space, for very short durations." says Kitaro, somewhat smugly. (esoteric knowledge +2)
" EVERYONE HOLD TIGHT, TORU IS AT IT AGAIN!"
"............................"
Bozuko is at a loss for words.
And then, it occurs to him that he is arguing over next to nothing with a team member whose life is in immediate danger. Taking this opportunity to end the conversation without actually admitting defeat, he states:
"Let's finish this later, Skiptio. We have burgers to deliver. So, can I help you, or not?"
Bozuko absent-mindedly begins to juggle random objects from his pockets with one hand. [Projectile Guidance +2]